Dad taught me the fire hydrant game when I was six. Red ones count for double points today.
Summer foliage hides some of them, even though I already know where each one pokes out. Of course, it’s considered cheating if you call out ahead of time.
Another block, and you can call the splotchy yellow one on the corner of Bay Street and…
Before I am able to point exaggeratedly, Dad pulls off the side of the road in a hurry.
I look at him quizzically as my arm dangles toward an abandoned brick building instead of my secret fire hydrant.
Dad laughs, “Oh you thought you were gonna beat Daddy, huh? Well, don’t worry my child. You’ll have your chance. But first, your Father wants to get some of these beautiful lilacs. If I’m quick, no one will notice.”
Dad sneaks behind the car as traffic whizzes by. I watch as he slices his boot knife through each branch. I can smell the lilac aroma before he lumbers back in the driver’s seat.
Dad hands the lilacs over to me, “Here. Hold these we get home to put them in water. God! What a beautiful deep purple this year. Your Father’s favorite flower, you know.”
I know, Dad. You stopped for them last year too. But did we really have to interrupt our favorite—our only—game we play together?
Despite my annoyance, I stick my nose down and take a deep breath. I admire each clover-shaped petal. Purple is my new favorite color.
But then I see them. No! I’m dead!! It like that movie, Invasion of the…
I must be screaming, though I don’t realize it, because Dad’s voice exceeds my own, “Jenny! Jenny! Jenny! Stop the screaming. What is it?”
I hold up my arms to reveal thousands of ants covering me.
“Oh, Jesus! It’s just a couple of little sugar ants. Stop being a pussy, would ya?” Dad tries to brush them off, but there are too many.
Dad pulls to the side of the road just long enough to take the bouquet from my hands and toss them into the road.
“Fucking, shit. I hope you’re happy, Jenny. They’re gone.” Fine. It wasn’t my idea to get them. Maybe you should have checked for bugs first!
We ride back to the apartment in silence. Even though the fire hydrant game is over, I continue to count them all as we pass by.