1987: First Hair Cut

“Jenny, Daddy’s got to go get a hair cut. Look at me. I look like a friggen wild man. Ugh. Well it’s kind of difficult to get your hair cut when you work sixteen-hour days in the kitchen. And my hair grows too fast. Every two weeks I need a cut!”

Dad says this to me as he looks in the mirror and holds chunks of his hair straight up in the air.

“Well, Daddy’s exhausted. I’m going to take a quick half hour nap here on my break. You okay?”

I say yes by glancing up at him.

“Good. Just play with your toys while Daddy rests.”

While Dad snores, I comb my favorite My Little Pony’s mane. She’s pink with a rainbow painted on her rump.

After a few minutes, I begin to worry about Dad’s problem. Maybe he won’t yell so much if you can cut his hair for him…

Usually Dad’s favorite barber has “The Three Stooges” playing on small television in the waiting area. But sometimes, I watch barber Joe instead. You can do it. Just like barber Joe.

I sneak into the kitchen to look for scissors. I see a big pair with orange handles in the junk drawer.

I hesitate while I watch Dad’s head hangs over the corner of the bed. This won’t be hard. You just squeeze the hair between your fingers and cut it with the scissors.

 I work slowly not to wake him. I like cutting hair. Daddy is going to be so happy when he wakes up.

 After I’m finished, I admire my work. Then I put the scissors back in the drawer. “Jenny always put everything back in its proper place. Every time! Do you hear Daddy?”

 Dad starts to wake up, but he’s still groggy. I clench my rainbow pony and wait patiently for Daddy to notice my work.

He walks to the bathroom. “Holy shit. Mother Fucker. Jennnyyyyyy!!! What did you do to Poppa’s hair?!”

He doesn’t like it?!

 Confused, I say, “I cut it for you so you didn’t have to go to the barber.”

I cower waiting for him to spank me.

But instead he starts laughing, uproariously.

“Ahh shit, you’re a funny little girl, Jenny Leigh. Poppa didn’t know I was going to get a haircut that soon. And even though I have a few bald spots, I guess you did a pretty good job for a five year old kid.”

He tilts his head from side to side as he examines the bald patches, “Fuck it, it’s only hair. It’ll grow back.”


 “Oh and Jenny, since you did such a good job, why should Daddy waste $8 getting a haircut at the barber shop. You might as well do it from now on!”